From Redditor u/TorianOggarrian:

I’ve been married to my spouse for 4 years and I actually love her greater than something. Our relationship has all the time felt stable. After all we’ve had the standard challenges however we’ve all the time communicated and labored via issues collectively. Recently although I’ve been feeling this rising discomfort and I actually can’t inform if I’m being irrational or if there’s one thing deeper happening that I have to cease disregarding.

Over the previous a number of months she’s been spending plenty of time with one in all her coworkers, particularly her boss. It began with informal mentions about working late or ending up initiatives and step by step it become common OrangeTheory exercises collectively, grabbing dinner afterward, and even getting drinks some nights. I needed to be supportive and never come off as jealous or insecure. However I couldn’t assist noticing how a lot time they have been spending collectively, particularly exterior of labor hours. It’s reached a degree the place I really feel like he will get extra of her time and power than I do.

One evening not too long ago she was out late once more. They had gone to OrangeTheory after which to this restaurant I actually like. I texted her whereas she was out and requested if she might deliver me again one thing, only a buffalo rooster wrap, nothing sophisticated. She mentioned positive. However when she bought house she didn’t have something together with her. I didn’t even need to make a giant deal out of it however it actually stung somewhat. It made me really feel like I used to be an afterthought. That on high of every little thing else was type of the final straw in my head that evening.

I hate admitting this half however I ended up checking her telephone whereas she was asleep. I do know it was unsuitable. I’ve by no means achieved something like that earlier than. I didn’t discover something blatantly inappropriate. There was no flirting or something sexual. However the conversations between them felt actually shut. Like emotionally shut. Fixed texting, inside jokes, updates all through the day. The type of vibe that made me really feel like she’s confiding in him greater than me currently. It actually made me really feel small.

She awakened and caught me her telephone and he or she was furious. Rightfully so. She mentioned I utterly violated her belief and that I had no enterprise going via her messages. I instantly apologized and informed her I cherished her and that I’d by no means do one thing like that once more. I admitted I used to be simply feeling insecure and that I ought to be capable of belief her when she says he’s only a pal. She informed me that belief doesn’t imply something if I’m going behind her again and snooping via her non-public conversations.

Since that evening issues have been actually off. She’s been chilly and distant and I really feel just like the dynamic between us has completely shifted. However she’s nonetheless hanging out with him simply as a lot as earlier than. Nonetheless going to the fitness center collectively, nonetheless texting him on a regular basis, nonetheless going out to eat with him. I don’t need to be controlling. I do know that’s not truthful. However on the identical time if I had a feminine boss I used to be spending this a lot time with, texting always, figuring out and having dinner with usually, there’s no method she’d be okay with it. So now I’m caught. Am I simply being jealous and overreacting or is that this truly a sound factor to be involved about?